today i was sitting in comics writing class, participating in a lively discussion about the first 4 chapters of Watchmen, the graphic novel we are assigned to read for the semester. i had been looking forward to this all week, as it is a VERY intriguing comic and i was eager to hear what everybody’s take on it was. so we’re plodding along in the conversation, when allst of a sudden, the peppy anime geek in the front row just simply blurts out PART OF THE ENDING, much to the horror of the teacher and about 30% of the class who hadn’t ever read it the whole way through…. myself included.

at first glance in the grand scheme of things, having the ending to a very good comic ruined seems pretty trivial. sure, its not lethal or lifethreatening if i dont find out how it pans out for myself and get to lick my lips in satisfaction knowing that i got to the end all by myself. life goes on, say law veeh, right?

fucking WRONG.

imagine if you were a child of the 70’s, and waited on hand and foot for Empire Strikes Back to come out. picture yourself camping out in front of the theater with a couple of buddies, enduring cold weather, canned lentil soup that makes your poopies smell like burnt plastic, bloody gums from eating beef jerky all night, and irritating superhero comparison arguments. you waited all night and stood all day in line to be the first ones to see it. finally, you manage to squeeze into a late showing, only to have the preceding crowd pour out, exclaiming that Vader is Luke’s father.

i would use a Harry Potter analogy for more modern effectiveness, but truth be told i really do not give 2 shits about Harry Potter, but i think you get the point.

in any case, i was so angry that i actually got up and left the room, after yelling “WAT THE FUCK” repeatedly for about 5 minutes straight. mr. teach could tell i was agitated, and tried everything in his best power to dissipate the situation, jokingly insisting that the spoiler buy everyone donuts next week. the blabbermouth just giggled embarrassingly and kept saying sorry.

well guess what? sorry isnt going to un-spoil the godamn ending, you dumb fuck.

i am a grown adult. i am smack dab in my twilight years at Academy, with a rude awakening into the real world surely breathing hot and persistently down the coattails of my puckered virgin asshole. i am getting older by the minute and there are less and less things on this charred, barren earth that excite me like they used to back before the weight of the universe was crushed upon my shoulders and my youthly sparkle was sucked from the apples of my eyes. leave it to stupid people to take away the last gleams that i could have hung onto, including a delicious, intact surprise element for the Watchmen ending.

once again, thanks for fucking nothing, stupid spoiler twat in the front row, whoever you are.

February 14th, 2008 | comics, life, misc., other, relationships, school, spoilers, star wars