when school started, i got really sick. in fact, i was sick the entire first week. i had stopped smoking, but had resumed before i fully healed. bad stuff. by the end of the month, not ONLY had it taken longer for me to recover from whatever it is i had, i was now smoking more cigarettes daily than i ever was before.
averaging about a half pack a day, i was now hovering into three quarters to a full pack, daily. if you asked me why, your guess would be as good as mine. eventually it was a rare occurance to see me at any given waking hour without at least 2 or 3 cigarettes sucked down. it was getting so bad to the point where even when i had left my cigarettes at home on purpose in an attempt to curb it while outdoors, i would go out and buy a pack. this happened every day for an entire weekend, and by the time the dust had settled, i had 5 packs of cigarettes at home, all consumed to various degrees. call it overindulgence. or sheer addictive stupidity.
luckily for me and everyone around me that cares, it wasnt crack, right? after that weekend, i really sat down and looked at the big picture for the first time in awhile. if i were to continue this, i would probably be dead before i hit 45, if im lucky. so after my last pack of marlboros (that i obliterated in about 13 hours or so), i hurried over to safeway, and picked up a box of nicoderm patches.
today is day 1, and i can happily say that these things do actually work. obviously it is a different-strokes-different-folks kind of deal, but for me personally i can already say that it is doing its job. my arm is a little bit sore and it feels a bit cold from where the patch is, which i found odd at first, but i got used to it pretty quickly.i have NOT had a craving all day, and i have NOT gotten that “edge” yet, that very tangible combination of impatience and irritability, like someone just poured broken glass into my bloodstream.
i have felt an odd calmness the entire afternoon. the booklet says that a side effect is vivid dreams if one wears it to bed, so i think i’ll give that a shot tonight. haha. anyways, i figured if everyone knew, itd be a source of accountability. wish me luck!!! —–jon
Good job buddy. I know its not easy, and that its a steep, uphill battle, but I know you can do it.
Comment by JAMS — March 19, 2008 @ 5:38 pm